Te Doy Mis Ojos (Take My Eyes, 2003) — film review
Distorted love, unclichéd abuse in disguise
Te Doy Mis Ojos (Take My Eyes; literally I Give You My Eyes) is a 2003 Spanish romantic drama film directed by Icíar Bollaín, starring Laia Marull and Luis Tosar. Critically acclaimed for its unclichéd treatment of domestic violence, it won seven Goya Awards in 2004, including Best Picture, Best Director, Best Lead Actor, Best Lead Actress, and Best Supporting Actress. Shooting locations included Toledo.
(Source: Wikipedia)
This was the heaviest Spanish film I’ve ever seen. Though being difficult to watch, it was real and meaningful, giving me more context about the Spanish society, especially key insights into domestic violence in Spain. There are different situations in every domestic violence case. Unlike what most people might imagine, where there must be an absolute bastard abusing a poor victim, this movie didn’t just tell a black-and-white story like this. Antonio’s deeply affectionate, but toxically one-way love was the crux point of this movie, making the whole story less assertive and more realistic. I was really shocked and angry when I saw Antonio’s outrageous actions, but was genuinely touched and moved when he made every effort to improve his temper through courses and consultation.
Like I mentioned above, I think Antonio loved Pilar in an affectionate but toxic way, which I wouldn’t call it love. In my opinion, loving a person is different from loving an object. When loving an object, you might want to keep it yourself and seize it all day long. But if you really love a person, what you would do is try the best to be nice to him/her, making him/her feel happier with you. Obviously, Antonio had too much desire to control, so he treated Pilar as if she were his beloved collection, which was unhealthy and distorted, and wasn’t love.
Pilar put up with this kind of toxic relationship for so many years because she also really loved Antonio, but sadly, that was not the only reason. The more underlying, while equally crucial reason was gender inequality. Financially, Pilar couldn’t be totally independent because she didn’t have a stable job. At home, her original family was too traditional to support her even in this kind of terrible situation. Also, she was too afraid to let people know what had been happening in her house. I think these could all be seen as results of gender inequality. So apparently, the best solution to this problem is raising gender awareness — keeping an inclusive mindset, and creating equal opportunities for everyone, regardless of their genders. When gender awareness is raised in a society, people are less likely to be controlled or abused by their own partners, and as a result, less likely to be trapped in such a toxic relationship.
In conclusion, I think this film well presents the social issue of domestic violence, and further extends it to the broader topic of gender inequality, in an unclichéd and thought-provoking way. Te Doy Mis Ojos has been playing a crucial role in shaping the Spanish society’s atmosphere in terms of gender issues. Though it’s already a movie of nearly 20 years old, and the Spanish society has since progressed a lot, domestic violence and gender inequality are still present in many corners of the world. Hence, I’d recommend watching this film, not only to examine the progress Spain has made, but also to understand more about important gender issues.
(This is an edited version of one of my film reviews from the course “Never Too Many Movies: Spanish & Catalan Society through Cinema” during my exchange at ESADE Business School in Barcelona.)
